Thankful to Lose; Thankful to Win

Lately it's occurred to me
That I've had enough of that
And lately I've been satisfied by simple things
Like breathing in and breathing out

Those are lyrics from Natalie Merchant’s song Not In This Life from her Motherland album. For years the line about breathing in and breathing out has struck me. I would say to myself, “Oh, that’s what I need to focus on”. Then before I knew it, my fabulous monkey mind would have swung to another branch, then another, then another. But every time I have come across that lyric, I have paused and enjoyed the open stillness that comes with just focusing on the breath, on the moment, then letting it go.

After I divorced and again a few years ago, I tried internet dating. There would be pre-fab questions for participants to answer to help others to learn about you. One of the questions asked about the 5 things you can’t live without. I thought it a stupid question. One thing I’ve known for a long time about myself is that I’m a survivor and that I can survive all sorts of losses except that of food, water, air, and shelter. I certainly understand why people say they cannot live without their children, their pets, their friends or their prized possessions. Those are all certainly very important and meaningful, but I’m certain all of those individuals would survive without them. Loss can be inconvenient, painful and at times devastating, but it can also be the harbinger of good things. Loss reminds us of what we truly need in order to exist, and also reminds us of what gives our lives meaning.

My point is that this holiday season, since my adventure in TN, I’ve been thinking a lot about where my life is, my stressors, joys, passions, how the scales are balanced. On the drive home from TN, I heard Natalie’s song again and remembered how easy it is to go to that place of serenity inside. Whilst there I recognized that all I need to live is very basic and elemental and that was very reassuring. I didn’t lose anything that gave my life meaning. I did lose a car that I loved which created some inconvenience and expense, but it also created an opportunity to obtain a vehicle that will likely prove a better fit for our lifestyle.



I want to extend a warm “thank you” to Catherine who has graciously bestowed my blog with this award. I hope this little blog of mine proves worthy.

An Award!

I am honored to have received the Kreative Blogger award from Bonjour Madame. Thank you so much. I hope my blog lives up to the honor. As part of the blog award I believe I am supposed to share seven things about myself that you might not know. So here it goes:

1. I am currently attending a conference at the Opryland Hotel & Convention Center. It’s enormous. Which is one of the reasons it’s taken me so long to post about the award. I’ve been lost in the facility the entire time! Ok, not really.

2. I first rode a horse solo when I was 6 months old. My dad walked along beside, it was his horse. My mom was royally ticked off about it, but that never stopped him. It at least explains why I have no memories of learning to ride.

3. Over a year ago I adopted a badly neglected German Shepherd who was picked up by Animal Control and was then given to a local shelter which named the dog, Faith. I saw Faith’s photo the shelter’s website and instantly fell in love. I’d grown up with German Shepherd’s and have been wanting one for a long time. Two days later I brought home. I think her photo shows how terrible her condition was. Now she is happy and healthy and a source of great joy in our family.

4. I love British mysteries, particularly BBC productions.

5. I don’t have tv service (cable/satellite/antennae) and I’m happier that way….especially more productive.

6. I once moved a total of 10 times within 3 years. Ever since then I’ve had a hard time unpacking after a move, and I’ve moved a number of times since those 10 moves. I suppose there are worse aversions to have.

7. When I was a child, there was a frog who lived in our yard who would come when I called its name. I would catch flies and feed them to him. Really.

Thanks again to Bonjour Madame!