Tuesday, January 19, 2010

We Interrupt This Blog with an Important Message

I am not a particularly political or religious person though I consider myself quite spiritual and I certainly have no intention in turning this into a place of political or religious dialogue. I try hard to get along with all. However recent events have unfolded which compel me to voice my opinion to the Universe. Since I am not eloquent, I choose to give space to those who are. There is little that gets my Arien temper aflame more so than hate-speak, particularly when it's done in the name of God and in the face of tragedy. It is not my intention to offend any of the wonderful readers who have come here (all 5 of you :) ), and if this does offend you, I am truly sorry.

That being said below is a letter written to the Minneapolis Star Tribune by Lily Coyle. Having lived in the great state of Minnesota, I adore the Minnesotan humour and their overall dedication to social justice. People like Ms. Coyle help me to tolerate the intolerable. That being said, I give space to Ms. Coyle's letter below.

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press,
so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean
bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that
action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is
totally humiliating.

I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The
way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and
impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with
people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty,
talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have
nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake.
Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing
going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs,
exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent
poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just
saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want
to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And
not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave
me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan


1 comment:

  1. LOL! That's hilarious...but I absolutely agree. Certain people should just shut their mouths. Especially about tragedies like this.


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